Cynthia Erivo Imagines Competing on ‘The Great British Bake Off’ in ‘SNL U.K.’ Opening Monologue: ‘I’ve Got a Soggy Bottom and I’m Freaking Stressed!’

In her opening “Saturday Night Live U.K.” monologue, Cynthia Erivo admitted that despite being an almost-EGOT – with an Emmy, Grammy and Tony to her name – there’s one accolade she’s still hankering after: no, not an Oscar but “the Hollywood handshake.”

Erivo, who is hosting this weekend’s episode, was referring of course Paul Hollywood, a judge on cooking competition “The Great British Bake Off’s” (known as “The Great British Baking Show” in the U.S.). The Channel 4 show features Hollywood and Nigella Lawson as judges and Noel Fielding and Alison Hammond as host.

“That’s right. I’m a huge ‘Bake Off’ fan,” Erivo revealed. “It’s an absolute dream of mine to be on that show. But there’s just one problem: I can’t cook under time pressure. I can run a marathon in under four hours, but ask me to bake a cake, well, then I’m screwed.”

Earlier in the monologue Erivo told the audience the thing she’s asked about most is her trademark long nails. “Not quite sure why. To me, they’re normal. I’ve had them since I was 16,” she said. “They’re an extension of my body, an expression of my soul, and surprisingly practical. I haven’t had to use cutlery in years.”

Later, she referred to the nails again while picturing herself competing in the “Bake Off” tent. “It would be chaos,” she said. “Making cake batter with one nail, chopping my butter with the other. Noel’s telling me I’ve got 30 seconds left, and Alison just keeps laughing. It’s not funny, Hammond. Seriously, what are you laughing at? I’ve got a soggy bottom, and I’m freaking stressed!”

At which point Larry Dean, dressed as Fielding, jumped onto the “SNL” U.K. stage and warned Erivo she had 30 seconds left.

“For the cake?” she asked, slightly panicked.

“No,” he replied. “The monologue! You need to get on the show.”

At which point she ran through the end, saying: “Okay, 30 seconds. Music. We have music. Blossoms. They’re great. And sketches. I’m in them, and adverts. I’m not in them. We’ve got an amazing show for you tonight. Stick around and watch this!”